I quit my job.
No, I did not quit because I had another job to go to. Nor did I quit in order to follow a spouse to their new job. I quit because it was the right thing to do.
I think God had wanted me to leave for quite a while now. I was with the company for over 5 years. It was a fine job, and more than paid my bills.
But it was an “OK” job for me. It’s not exactly what I always wanted. But I stayed, because that’s what I do.
A year ago, I was told my position was to be eliminated. I was completely shocked, as was everyone I worked with. I was quite competent in my job. Why me?
At first, while I was completely shocked, I knew there were better positions for me out there, away from the corporation I had worked for. I was looking forward to taking time to find the perfect job for me … at first.
Then, other people got to me: “You’re so competent – why don’t you ask if you can get another position here?” “It’s always easier to get a new job when you have a job.” Etc., etc.
So I asked. And they found me a job. Same department, but completely new field. A field I previously never had any interest in.
But hey, I told myself, I would learn a lot, and you never know, I may grow to love it.
And at first I did love it. Cool lab equipment, the potential to work more closely with customers! Many other good things were happening in my life at that time as well, and life was wonderful. (I actually said this to people when they asked me how I was doing, and they typically gave me a funny look!)
But, at the same time, there was an underlying stress going on inside me. I wasn’t sleeping well. Actually, I wasn’t sleeping at all. Then, a few months later, my stress came out in a pain in my neck – literally! I got to a point where I could not move my neck. They sent me to physical therapy and everything. And that’s when I actually liked my job!
Then in early 2010, we had new management, and my job and entire psyche went downhill: I was dreading going to work in the morning. Not sleeping. Obsessing about the small details. Crying non-stop. Panic attacks involving chest pains, hyperventilation, intense crying. Eventually, I reached a point at which I simply wasn’t functioning at work. I wanted to quit right then and there, but I knew I wasn’t thinking clearly. My doctor put me on Medical Leave, thank goodness. Over that time I rested, talked with friends and family, did relaxing but useful activities, slept some more, prayed about and pondered my decision, napped a lot (see a theme here?)
No, I did not quit because I had another job to go to. Nor did I quit in order to follow a spouse to their new job. I quit because it was the right thing to do.
I think God had wanted me to leave for quite a while now. I was with the company for over 5 years. It was a fine job, and more than paid my bills.
But it was an “OK” job for me. It’s not exactly what I always wanted. But I stayed, because that’s what I do.
A year ago, I was told my position was to be eliminated. I was completely shocked, as was everyone I worked with. I was quite competent in my job. Why me?
At first, while I was completely shocked, I knew there were better positions for me out there, away from the corporation I had worked for. I was looking forward to taking time to find the perfect job for me … at first.
Then, other people got to me: “You’re so competent – why don’t you ask if you can get another position here?” “It’s always easier to get a new job when you have a job.” Etc., etc.
So I asked. And they found me a job. Same department, but completely new field. A field I previously never had any interest in.
But hey, I told myself, I would learn a lot, and you never know, I may grow to love it.
And at first I did love it. Cool lab equipment, the potential to work more closely with customers! Many other good things were happening in my life at that time as well, and life was wonderful. (I actually said this to people when they asked me how I was doing, and they typically gave me a funny look!)
But, at the same time, there was an underlying stress going on inside me. I wasn’t sleeping well. Actually, I wasn’t sleeping at all. Then, a few months later, my stress came out in a pain in my neck – literally! I got to a point where I could not move my neck. They sent me to physical therapy and everything. And that’s when I actually liked my job!
Then in early 2010, we had new management, and my job and entire psyche went downhill: I was dreading going to work in the morning. Not sleeping. Obsessing about the small details. Crying non-stop. Panic attacks involving chest pains, hyperventilation, intense crying. Eventually, I reached a point at which I simply wasn’t functioning at work. I wanted to quit right then and there, but I knew I wasn’t thinking clearly. My doctor put me on Medical Leave, thank goodness. Over that time I rested, talked with friends and family, did relaxing but useful activities, slept some more, prayed about and pondered my decision, napped a lot (see a theme here?)
And every time I pondered my decision which I knew would affect he rest of my life, I came to the same conclusion: I can’t stay in my job. It’s not right for me to stay here. It is making me miserable. It’s negatively affecting my health.
So I quit.
And I am at peace with that decision.
So I quit.
And I am at peace with that decision.
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